Taken in 1856 to celebrate their marriage, the image below of Hannah Pratley and George Taylor is I believe, the oldest surviving wedidng photogrpah in Britain. It shows none of the obvious joy and intimacy of a modern wedding photograph and uncovering it has taken me on an exciting journey of dicovery. Here lies a tragic tale of a Victorian working women's lot and involving  murder, intrigue, forgiveness and an evangelical Christian movement...

Hannah was born in 1832 in what is now the picturesque Cotswold town of Burford. In her late teens she worked as a housemaid, but just a few years later her life took a dramatic turn when she was jailed for the manslaughter of her new-born son. A contemporary newspaper then reports the tragic, unforeseen: "suicide of the reputed father of the child". Hannah had fallen pregnant by a married man. Upon jailing Hannah the judge remarked: "It is a painful thing to administer justice on a respectable young women who might have done better things… It is necessary to make an example to deter others".

Thankfully, after her spell in jail Hannah did gain some happiness when she met and married George Taylor. According to Pam Vowles, one of Hannah's descendants, the Bible - which you can see on Hannah's lap - was given to her by Isabella Reynolds, whose son Thomas was a leader of the Plymouth Brethren - a strict religious sect which follows a rigorous moral code to this day.

So how do we know our 1856 image is the oldest surving wedding photograph? It is an ambrotype (made on a sheet of glass with a backing of black paper or varnish) which clearly dates it to before 1862. There is a wedding image of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert that was previously believed to be one of the earliest: but it is simply a recreation of their 1840 marriage taken over a decade later.

The image of George and Hannah is a far cry from the modern wedding photograph, which is blanketed in happiness and celebration: it is glamourless, joyless and with little of the bride and groom's personalities shining through. The bride isn't smiling because this was considered a solemn occasion, there are no embraces - and certainly no kisses, with George allowed to do little more than extend an arm around his loved one's shoulder. They are of course dressed in their Sunday best: that was the norm. Modern wedding photographers are among the most proficient and talented in the trade, with carefully planned and detailed shoots. This however, was sold for little more than a shilling, was taken in a photographer's studio and with little or no preparation.

So this month, when we celebrate love on St Valentine's Day, the Leap Year (when a woman can traditionally propose) and also the bicentenary of the birth of Charles Dickens, this wedding photograph really speaks to me and uncovering its story has made me think... The Victorians invented the art and science of photography and championed the now traditional wedding photograph: a moment captured in time that links us to our past as well as our future. Even those couples who prefer modern, reportage style photography generally opt for a few traditional poses. And in this age of digital photography when hundreds of wedding photographs are never printed, but instead viewed on a laptop, iPad and smartphone, the iconic image of the bride and groom generally does make the frame and is still proudly displayed on the mantelpiece.

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Sarah Haywood © 2012

Thank you to Audrey Linkman for the fascinating insights in her book:  The Victorians: A Photographic Portrait

I have a 'Wedding Planning Golden Rule' that even when planning celebrations with generous budgets I try to keep at the forefront of my mind: How much money you spend celebrating your commitment to one another is not a measure of its strength. Weddings are about people, not the pounds and pence. I know that the celebrity weddings featured weekly in glossy magazines can frighten the average couple into thinking that weddings are all about how much you spend impressing your friends and relatives. They are not. A wedding should reflect who you are and say something about your own sense of style and values - not those of a soap star, glamour model or Hollywood A-lister.

If you are nervous about tying the knot in the current financial climate don't be scared into postponing your plans before considering that now is the time to secure yourselves a bargain. But never, ever get yourself into debt by spending more than you can afford on your dream day. Do not borrow, do not put it all on a credit card. Plan only for what you can afford: starting your married life in debt is a recipe for disaster...

But if you have put a pot of money aside for your wedding then there has never been a better time to get married. The money is not earning you much interest in the bank and now is the time to bag yourself a serious bridal bargain. If you are willing to be flexible there are last minute deals to be had at hotels and wedding venues up and down the country. If you'll consider a weekday wedding then you could shave up to 25% off the costs.

Don't be afraid of planning a last minute wedding. If key suppliers such as photographers, florists, entertainers and honeymoon tour operators have spaces in their diaries over the next three months, then there is serious room for negotiation. Those dates are unlikely to be filled so they should be far more open to offering a deal.

The Credit Crunch Top Ten Wedding Budgeting Tips

Money Management: Plan only for he type of wedding you can afford. Create your perfect day not a premier league footballer (or future King of England's) dream day. Set a realistic budget and prioritize the main areas of spending: if flowers are more important than the cake for example, then budget for a simple cake and spend more on flowers.

Keep overspending in check: if you overspend in one area of your wedding then immediately claw it back from another. So if the photographer was £/$/€150 more than budgeted, immediately cut that amount from the spend elsewhere.

Keep control of your guest list: Around 50% of the budget goes on the venue hire food and drink. If the cost per head is £/$/€75 for example, then it is easy to see how inviting an extra 5 people will add a significant amount to the overall spend.

Beware of fixed price packages: check what is included and what you actually want. Negotiate and do not be bamboozled into signing a contract until you are happy with what you are agreeing to.

Read the small print: are taxes and service charges included? If not, then an extra 10% service charge for food and beverages plus 20 tax/VAT on the total bill could mean hundreds if not thousands more than budgeted. So do the sums.

Don't be over-generous! 'Favors' are sometimes just table clutter. You do not need to buy your guests a gift and unless it is really worth having it will be left behind. And if you are offering a free bar you do not have to include spirits. Wine and beer is sufficient and often all people expect.

Borrow what you can and hire expensive items. Who has recently married and could lend you a veil or jewelery? And many items can be hired such as vases, topiary, linens and decorations.

Enlist the help of talented friends. If someone can bake then they can do the cake!

Do not spend to alleviate pre-wedding nerves! In those final weeks before the wedding when it is all planned the bride-to-be especially feels she should be doing something. This is when the evil cosmetic companies get to girls and play on their nerves telling them that in order to radiate gorgeousness on their wedding day they need to spend £/$/€75 on a pot of face cream and buy hundreds of pounds worth of make-up. You do not.

(For more help with your big day don't forget our range of wedding plannning smartphone apps and books available via our Boutique )

© Sarah Haywood, 2012

Wedding planning is not rocket science but there's a lot to do and that's why it can become stressful.  To survive and thrive in the build up to your big day keep a sense of perspective, stay organised, delegate what tasks you can and never lose sight of why you are planning this fabulous celebration in the first place (so take note of the last tip: I'm told it has saved relationships!)

MONEY MANAGEMENT Plan only for the type of wedding you can afford. Accept what you've got to spend and always shop with this in mind.  Create your perfect wedding, not an international footballers dream day. Create a day that will say something about who you are, your shared values and your lifestyle

BE ORGANIZED It's the key to successful and stress free wedding planning.  

PRIORITIZE Don't waste time getting carried away with the detail of your day until you have put in place the key elements: where and when you'll be married and how much you can spend. Do refer to our 'Big 5' Checklist for the newly engaged' blog.

PRESENT A UNITED FRONT Create your day together and present a united front to your families. Leave some room for family input - especially if they are contributing financially.

RESPECT & COMPROMISE When drawing up your guest list, be sensitive to the desires and expectations of each other and your families. Respect the point of view of others and listen, even if you eventually reject their ideas. Be prepared to negotiate and compromise.

DELEGATE Behind every blooming bride and gorgeous groom is a fabulous and efficient team, so delegate what you can to friends and family who have skills in areas you need help with. If someone can bake - they can do the cake.

BRIDESMAIDS & BEST MAN Have a reliable best man and chief bridesmaid.  If your closest friends are not competent, confident, reliable individuals, give them something else to do!

HIRING & FIRING Do not hire anyone or anything until you have seen or sampled their wares.  Get every detail in writing.  Before signing a contract ask: "is this your best price?" And read the small print: are taxes and service charges included - if not then budget the extra 20-30% that can cost you.

KEEP COOL, CALM & COLLECTED - especially with your nearest and dearest.  Don't alienate anyone you'll need later on (I'm thinking mother-in-law!).

WEDDING FREE ZONES Have wedding free zones in your home(s) and wedding free evenings with your intended. Then you'll remember why you are doing this…

For more help with your big day don't forget our range of wedding plannning smartphone apps and books available via our Boutique.

Happy Wedding Planing!

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© Sarah Haywood, 2012

Congratulations on your engagement!  I've got more good news: tying the knot is seriously good for your health! Scientist say so. Marriage increases your health, wealth and your lifespan by up to three years. According to researchers at England's University of Warwick, being married inspires you to work harder whilst boosting the immune system. (This of course assumes you've survived the wedding planning…)

First up for the recently engaged is our 'Big 5' of wedding planning: these are the five key elements that need to be considered before you can get down to the detail of planning your wedding. Crucial is that everyone who is involved in planning and eventually paying for the celebration should ideally be consulted when considering these key Big 5 elements (this will save arguments later on).

HOW will you get married? Will it be in a civil or a religious ceremony?     

WHERE would you like to be married? Have a rough geographic area in mind - narrow it down to county/state.

WHEN will you get married?  The more flexible you can be, the more options you'll have. So spring, summer, autumn winter: this year, next year - just approximately and ideally when.    

WHO? That's whom you'll invite. This could be dictated by budget or how many guests a must-have reception venue can accommodate. But sit down and compile a considered guest list so you can accurately assess guest numbers. Do this with everyone who reasonably needs to have a say in it.

BUDGET - the million-dollar question: how much can you AFFORD to spend?

You might want to defer some 'Big 5' decisions until other key elements have been put in place and you will need to take a flexible approach.  But the 'Big 5' are your wedding road map, and until they have been agreed upon you can't get down to the nitty-gritty details of planning your day. If you do you'll in all likelihood tie yourselves into things and services you don't want, are inappropriate or are outside the budget.

So complete the 'Big 5' checklist together and know you're agreed upon it And do check out my 10 Top Wedding Planning Tips on the blog too.

For more help with your big day don't forget our range of wedding plannning smartphone apps and books available via our Boutique.

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© Sarah Haywood 2012

What a year 2011 has been - here are a few of our highlights:

THE ROYAL WEDDING

The build up to the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton dominated the first quarter of the year: pretty much every week from the day the engagement was announced last November, we entertained TV crews and journalists from across the world eager to know just how we do things here in UK brideland: eventually we had a permanent 'wedding set' in the corner of my office complete with a wedding gown and a crystal champagne bucket. But nothing prepared me for the wedding week itself: 17 live appearances on TV and radio networks from Australasia to the Americas, from India to Japan. I spent the week crisscrossing between the studios at Buckingham Palace and those opposite Westminster Abbey: from 6am for BBC Breakfast News here in the UK through to 2am appearances for Channel 9 Australia's breakfast show.

The day of the royal nuptials is one I will never forget (both wonderful and surreal): at 6am I walked through the crowds gathered along The Mall to get to the CNN studio in the media complex erected adjacent to the Palace. As their Wedding Expert I found myself next to Piers Morgan with Kat Deely and Anderson Cooper for CNN's worldwide, live simulcast - and with a bird's eye view of the Procession.  At 3am I was still going strong (and following a bizarre web chat with the Washington Post during which someone actually asked me: "were the soldiers real?") and back with Channel 9 Australia's breakfast show. After just three hours sleep I caught a flight to Florence and a return to the day job: arranging weddings (and a very forgiving bride and groom who did not have me at their side for the usual wedding week build up - thank you N&M)! 

Merry Christmas to all the lovely couples and their familes whose weddings we have planned  over the past twelve months (thank you for lettings us into your lives and treating us so well), the talented suppliers and beautiful venues we have worked with (thank you for making us look so good!), those who keep our business machine so well oiled - our PR and Design agencies, accountants, lawyers and bankers.

Thank you too the press both here in the UK and abroad for the kindness you have shown us and for the amazing interetest in us and our work. Royal Wedding week was a highlight: I belive I appeared across 6 contentns in 5 days  and including 15 live TV broadscasts across the world.  Appearing as CNN's wedding expert on the day of the Royal nuptials   and being part of the biggest wedding story that I wil certianly ever see, was both a privilege and pleasure.

This beautiful Tuscan landscape in the snow was taken by our friend Carlo Carletti in Crete Senesi which lies to the south of Siena. It would make a great screensaver and he is happy for you to use it as such.

We wish all of you, wherever you are in the world a very Merry Christmas and peaceful and prosperous 2012.

The first in our series of 'fun but essential' wedding day apps is our Bow Tie Tutor. It features the dashing Charles, Butler to the Earl of March, demonstrating this essential skill. Filmed on location at the family seat of the Duke's of Richmond (Goodwood House in the heart of the English countryside) the Butler takes you through the steps and filmed with the options of viewing as you would if tying for yourself in-front of a mirror, without a mirror (so looking down as you would be for yourself) or as you see and need instruction if tying for someone else.  There is also a step by step instructional graphic.

We hope the video introduction to our iPhone® app posted here gives a taster of the high production values of app - enjoy!

Available now together with our other apps on the App Store.

In all likelihood your wedding gown has been the most costly garment purchase you have ever made  - and are likely to make. I cannot over emphasize the importance of properly cleaning and storing your gown after the big day. The object is not simply to clean and remove any marks (and most wedding gowns have acted as a mop and broom over every floor the bride who wears it treads) but importantly to protect and preserve the garment. Even marks that don't show-up immediately oxidise and stain eventually.

If your gown has beading, appliqué or other embellishments, it may not withstand the type of dry clean offered on the high street. The solvents used may dissolve beads and pearls and if your dress is jewelled the adhesives used in their settings may be neither solvent nor heat resistant. So look for a dry cleaning specialist and preferably one that specialises in formal wear and offers a hand-finishing service. Ask for a recommendation from those who sold you the gown.

When you take your dress or outfit off, hang it on the original hanger and store it in the garment bag it came in.  Alert the dry cleaner to any stains and loose threads and seek their advice on beading or pearls. Also identify any rips and tears so there's no further damage done during the cleaning process. A good cleaner will return the dress wrapped in acid free tissue paper either boxed or in a garment bag. If you opt for the latter ensure the bag is breathable. Most of the designers whose advice I have sought over the years do not recommend vacuum packing.

If you've not the luxury of a wedding planner to get your gown cleaned for you whilst on honeymoon, you could assign the task to a bridesmaid or parent and organise what needs doing prior to your wedding. There are companies who will collect your gown, properly clean and then pack it: some can even store it for you afterwards.  When cleaned, store your dress in a temperate dry place, out of direct sunlight. And keep it accessible so that once a year you can get it out and try it on again! _______________________________________________________________

© Sarah Haywood, 2011

Royal bride Zara Phillip's decision not to take her new husband Mike Tindall's last name is we are told, because she feared it could have a negative impact upon her equestrian career and business interests. An Eventing World Champion, Zara has her own range of equestrian clothing (named ZP176 after the team number she was given when she first represented her country). Her dilemma is one faced by many career women when they marry.

But there are other options available to brides-to-be who may want to reflect their change in marital status, but without surrendering their maiden name. One alternative gaining popularity in the UK is for brides when they marry to add their husband's last name to theirs, as is popular in the US and other parts of the world. 

As Zara Phillips demonstrates, there is of course no legal requirement for you to change your surname at all when you marry. But if you decide to do so, your Marriage Certificate will only replace your last name with your husband's. If you want to add his last name without surrendering yours, you can do this in the UK by deed poll. Legally you are adding your maiden name as a middle name. Or you could opt to change to a double-barreled name when you are married to create a new last name. If you are a very 21^st Century couple you could both adopt a new double-barreled last name.

You can arrange for a change of name by deed poll to take effect and for signing on your wedding day by applying via various organizations on-line (including thelegaldeedponlservice.org.uk and ukdps.co.uk to name but a few) or your solicitor can help. Do this at least three weeks before the wedding. If you decide not to change your name but would like to reflect your change in marital status to "Mrs" this can also be changed by deed poll.

If your name change is officially by deed poll, you will only need this document as proof of your change of name once married. Whether you eventually change your name or not, you should still inform financial and insurance institutions that you have married as in their small print you'll often find it is a requirement. Please refer to our MARITAL STATUS & NAME CHANGE blog for a list of who to notify.

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© Sarah Haywood, 2011

Many banks, insurance companies and financkal knstitutions insist it a requirement for both of you to advise of the change in your marital status following your wedding. Some years ago when I was a TV reporter, I covered a disturbing story of a couple who had failed to notify their mortgage company they had married: this was the only legal justification the mortgage company needed not to pay the couple a substantial windfall when their building society was bought out by another. So as well as notifying of a bride's change of name (if she chooses to do so) remember to also BOTH advise of the change in your marital status  - and as soon as is practicably possible.

There is no legal requirement for a woman to change her last name and adopt her husband's when she marries. If you decide to do so, your marriage certificate is the only documentary evidence required to prove your change of name. (See our Blog on OPTIONS FOR CHANGING YOUR NAME if you prefer not to simply take your new husband's last name but wish to also retain your own and are UK citizens).

To advise your marriage and name change you will need to provide your original Marriage Certificate (and deed poll if there is one) as proof.  You might also want to now consider this the time to seek cdvice about drawing-up wills.

Martial Status & Name Change Checklist:

• Banks
• Building Society/Savings Accounts
• Mortgage holders / Landlord or Rental Agency
• Credit, Charge and Store cards
• Insurance Companies           
• Drivers Nicence
• Vax Cgencies (e.g. Inland Revenue (UK), IRS (USA)
• Utility/Service companies (e.g. electric and phone companies)
• Subscription services
• Doctor & Dentist
• Passport

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© Sarah Haywood, 2011